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KATHALISE "SMOKE" MARTIN

I met SMOKE through an on-line group and we became very good friends She is the only cyber friend that ever made me laugh so hard I cried. She fought a brave battle with Lung Cancer and unfortunately lost that battle July 25, 2006. The last few months as she knew she did not have long left to live she would close her emails with.

So if this should be the last thing I write
Know that I did put up quite a fight
I didn't give up that's not my way
I just had no desire to stay

Smoke was a gifted poet and I am including some poetry she wrote to me and some to all of us in the group. No one will ever be able to replace Smoke in the cyber world or in our world of reality. I too am a cancer survivor - the CURE is in the RESEARCH!!

PSYCHOPATH

There once was a Girl named Beth; who scared us all to death.
She seemed sweet and nice but knew ice was her views.
She tried to pretend to be so good; but we knew she was from the "hood"
And when mail came through addressed to you, Boy did you ever dread.

Beth is a cat in bunnies clothing and she loves to terrorize her friends
If not with big cat pictures than a naked man in a spin.
She sends us all this stuff that we to read and get right with God
But the next thing you know she's playing bingo betting the odds

Yes we know a girl named Beth who seems so clean and pure but I
Have some more thinking to do before I am so sure.
Lets just sit back and see what all she'll do, you never know with a psychopath
What they'll put you through, Beth don't take this as a insult or such
Becauce deep down you know we're frightened very much.

Smoke March 22, 2006

BETH

Beth although you know I tease you, and give you lots of grief;
You know I really like you and we've never had a beef.
I hate the cats you send out but that's no fault of yours
It is the fault of the furry things that scramble on all fours.

Just wanted you to know that I mean no harm, the pranks
I pull upon you are just to cause you alarm, the snakes
are very harmless as they are graphically done, and I
would never send a real one ( don't know how it's done)

So I just wanted you to know I think you are pretty neat
and I like the things you send out the games and the treats
So if you'll forgive my snake fetish, I forgive the cats
And we'll be Friend 2 Friends and that's the end of that.

smoke May 23 2006

NO DESIRE TO STAY

The pain has come as I feared it would
Not so bad it can't be stood
But pain is there to remind me
That another year I will not see

The blistering ache between my lungs
tells me at last it has begun
The pain of wakefulness till 5 a.m.
When too many pills take command

I have been blessed this I know
to go 4 years with out an ache
And live my life as I usually take
But I can feel the strain begin

I ask God for Mercy from him
to keep it light and very dim
to not let me end up a ghost
that scares my grandchildren the most

I look out the window at the sunset
Wondering how many more I'll get
That's why we should enjoy each one
We never know when for us there done

The bitter feelings buried deep inside
I refuse to give up my pride
I may not make it very long
But they will say "she went out strong"

The nights are worst as they are so dark
and I sit by the window doing my part
I cry and I ask God to give me a chance
Not to let this be my last dance

I look at my family and realize that
what I see are tears in their eyes
They try to stay strong to protect me
But I don't know why they can't see

I'm going one way or the other
To join my mom, dad and brother
I will be missed this I know for
there are so many who love me so

So if this should be the last thing I write
Know that I did put up quite a fight
I didn't give up that's not my way
I just had no desire to stay

Kathalise June 27th 2006:
"Rose Memorial Set"